Monday, October 25, 2010
Day 3, My Parents. @ 8:48 PM
TP today in the morning while all of you bitches sleeping your ass off ):
Met Syafiwah, Huda, Jasmine, Dhruv, Khomaidi at Tamp then cab there.
Boring la haiyo. 8 hours sit there listen the lecturer talk OH MY LAO TIAN YE.
Was eating sweet stuff to keep myself awake, crapping with those awesome people also.
Dhruv's imitation of Syaf's orgasm noise HAHAHAHAH funny sia! And Khom, Boobs made out of milk. Seriously can laugh like mad. Really crapped a lot.
I love days when I just laugh and forget about the bad stuff :)
Ended around 5pm. Khom looked really left out :/
Went to Manpuku to slack, Khom left. Chatted and stuffs. Dhruv and his nipples =.=
Hung out till around 7? Left for home.
Day 3 of the challenge, my parents.
My parents. I took a really long time finding a photo of them together.It was really hard. Most pictures were of me and my brothers and one parent, or just any scenerio except them being together alone in the photo.
This really made me realise how much they've lost trying to raise us.
I know that I'm not the perfect child, but I really tried my best to be.
Sometimes I know we clash and I lose my temper, but it's a fit of a moment.
I know I always complain a lot, say you all biased and all, but because of all these comments I made, they blocked how close we were actually in the past.
Although now we are better off in terms of wealth. but I think we used to be happier.
Even a small trip taking the mrt to the airport is such joy.
I sometimes say I hate you all, but it's not true. I just love you guys too much.
I was just another little child wanting attention. I craved so much for it.
I studied to excel for attention, but maybe because my results were better, it caused you all to feel I didn't need so much attention and you diverted all that to my brothers. But I did, and I still do.
I honestly say, it kinda sucks being your daughter sometimes, sucks big time.
But no matter how much it sucks, I cannot change anything, I cannot change how much love I have for you all as well.
Sometimes you both hurt me, hurt me a whole lot, and I admit I hurt you both back too.
I'm a really problematic child, but please, have more patience with me.
I'm not good at showing my emotions. I don't like to let my feelings out, so maybe that's why it's so hard for us both to understand each other.
After time, we all drift apart. But please don't give up on me.
I cannot promise I will as of today, stop complaining about you both, or how we hurt each other sometimes, or how many secrets there are hidden, but I can promise that I really really love you both from the bottom of my heart.
And I really hope that one day, we can really talk it out. Talk everything out.
I hope that one day, I'll have the courage to tell you how I really feel and stop keeping my emotions to myself. But now, now's not the time yet.
One day, I'll try to make you love this problematic child as much as you can.
You both aren't the perfect parents.
But then again, neither am I the perfect child.
