Thursday, November 4, 2010
Find me. @ 5:21 PM
I just ate Nutella bread. Whoever created Nutella is a genius :D
I am still in a rather depressing mood, but life goes on.
There are so many things beyond my control. This is a real troubling year for me.
Sometimes I wonder if I've done the right things. Perhaps after everything, I might realise that not only have I hurt myself, I've hurt everyone else in trying to create happiness.
You all must be damned confused. Only two people reading my blog will understand I guess.
School was as per normal, duh. Didn't understand, falling asleep. Doodled on Denise's book like siao hahahah. Then Nizam entertained me with his awesome retardedness "We have birds!" XD
Superrrr hungry cause didn't eat all morning, skipped recess to fast with Sijing, Teng, Simin.
We got to leave at 12.30pm today :D In yo face POA/Amaths people! :P
Went to eat $1.80 chickenrice with Sijing and Nizam and then went to McCafe to find Huda, Martien, Kaiquan and Isaac. Ate my first cinnamon melts, AWESOME, I swear :D
Nizam got tempted :P And omg, Sj wtff the hello kitty phone XD
Sj and N left for Korea rehearsal and Huda sent me off to Inter and I came home super early :)
Day 13, someone whom I wish could forgive me.
As stupid as it sounds, the person whom I wish can forgive me is myself.
So Dear Myself, I'm really really sorry for all the times I've looked at you in the mirror and went, oh God, why are you so ugly?! Why are you so fat?! Why are you so alone?! Why is everyone leaving you?! Surely everything is your fault?! What's wrong with you?! Why do you keep pushing others away?! Why is your best never enough?! Good for nothing. No one will ever love you.
Sorry confidence, please forgive me for making you go so low.
I binge, I smoke(QUIT ALREADY THANKYOUVERYMUCH LOL), burn myself, I cry.
Sorry body, for hurting you.
And please forgive yourself for that incident too. Somehow you know that deep down, it isn't your direct fault, but you feel as though it's your fault anyway. And everyday, you look at her and you just regret. You blame yourself.
Yes, it's retarded, and I hope one day, I really can forgive myself.
I'm really sorry, myself, I'll try to do better and make amends alright?
Before I go, if you can, please tag telling me if you like my posts with more words(like how it's like now) or more pictures. Somehow I feel as though my blog is so wordy it's kind of boring/unappealing ):
Unless you find my wordy contents interesting. Tell me so I can improve please. Words/pictures?
OH and spam me on formspring! It's right below my tagboard, click and ask :)
I'll post pictures soon! Kay byeeee :D
