Thursday, May 5, 2011
Odd within even. @ 12:31 PM
I have not started revision. I've been eating, drinking, shitting and breathing maths all fortnight.
I heard 5 out of 18 people failed in Mr Neo's class. I really hope I'm not one of the cause I tried really hard. There's like this picture in my mind of which 5 other people will fail besides me and I feel bad because I'm wishing other people will fail so I can pass. I'm such a mean person.
I did two of this, and put one up at the school bus stop, anyone saw? :)
I'm still thinking on where to put the other one. Imma make more, TEEHEE :D
I shall put up jokes today cause I was depressed yesterday and jokes make me happy again! :D
1.
One day the mother comes home and goes into her daughter's room and she found her 40 year old daughter playing with vibrator.
"What the hell are you doing?" She asked, and daughter says "Look at me I'm 40 and I'm ugly. This is pretty much my husband" she says.
Her mother goes to her room shaking her head.
The next day, father goes to her daughter's room and finds out the same thing. He asks "What are you doing?" The daughter answers: "I've already told Mom, I'm 40 and I'm ugly. So this is pretty much my husband."
Father goes away shaking his head.
The next day Mother comes home from work and sees his husband in front of TV with a beer in his left hand and vibrator in his right hand.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" she yells. The father says: " What does it look like I'm doing? I'm watching football with my new son-in-law!"
2.
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, Her husband died. Again, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The friend replied"I think he means her legs."
3.
After a fight, the police was called in. The policeman asked the accused, "How did the fight start?"
He replied, "Well, I was driving my car and wasn't really paying attention so I crashed into another car. I was so stressed out from work and everything that when I saw the driver of the other car get out, I started laughing my head of because he was a dwarf."
"He stormed up to my car and said, "I'm not happy!"
So I replied, which one are you then? And that was how that fight started."
4. (riddles)
You are participating in a race, you overtake the second position, what position are you in?
If you answered first, you are WRONG. If you overtake the second person, you are second! Think about it.
Now, in the same race, you overtake the last person, what place are you in now?
Second last? WRONG. How can you overtake the last person? :P
Now, next question, Mary's father has five daughters, their names are
1. Nana,
2. Nene,
3. Nini,
4. Nono,
What if the 5th daughter's name?
Did you say Nunu? WRONG AGAIN.
The 5th daughter's name is Mary(read the question again)
Last one, there is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now, it there is a blind man who wishes to buy himself a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
...
No, he doesn't have to point to his eyes. He just has to open his mouth and ask!
5.
Last and lamest one, but made me laugh the most.
One day, a man walked into a bar. Ouch.
Okay, do you all feel happier now? :D I DO. HEHEH. That's all, miss me alright. Can't wait for the exams to be over.
Oh by the way, Syafa'at as the ability to talk to Donkeys.
It's just that the donkeys might not understand what he's saying. I laughed so hard on the bus. Omg, k Ariel lame. BYE.
Thanks guys.
Mom, accept me.
I know she's the daughter you've always missed out on. They all are.
Sorry I'm different.
Sorry if you're embarrassed of me.
Sorry I was never good enough for you no matter how hard I tried.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
