Monday, November 7, 2011
Me, Myself and I. @ 5:05 PM
I feel like I haven't done a proper post in a while. So, today's topic.
Loneliness.
I'm lonely. I can't lie.
I don't like feeling lonely, because it kinda makes me sad? :(
I've always been the kind that was quite alone growing up, you know, the one walking alone, without friends to hang, the substitute that's always there because I just am?
I mean, since young it's always been this way for me. Not totally but it's been for almost as long as I can recall. People I love tend to go away, whether they like it or not. I blame myself for that.
I don't mind being alone, but I mind being lonely.
I never really felt like I belonged anywhere, if you know what I mean. I'm different, and I doubt I mean it in a good way. I always feel like I'm in the middle, because I don't clearly belong anywhere. And even though people always tell me they are there for me, I feel like I can't really depend on anyone but myself now.
I know it's weird and I think it's just me. I feel like I can't rely on anyone by myself, because the only person I can trust is myself. I'm insecure. I admit.
Am I the only one?
I'm forever feeling that I have no one around much because I'm ugly. It's called a free friend repellent LOL. I can't help but feel like people would treat me nicer if I were pretty, or I would actually mean something to them.
I mean, it's complicated to explain, but is it so wrong that I wish for people to cherish me for who I am? I'm just tired of being kicked around and left behind.
Tired of being invisible.
Tired of being forgotten.
Do any of you feel like that too? Let me know through my formspring or something.
Anyway, thanks for listening. Love you guys. Raise my stats to the way they were before okay! ^^V
Bye!
